Pieces of Temporary Happiness

As I create my piece, I refuse to feel this pain that I have for you,
It rest deep in my soul
But it keeps hoping to connect with you
So my eagerness advised to me to create the perfect picture and when I did reconnect it came up with a blank canvas
If I would have known that your existence would have been temporary
I would have made more time to make more meaningful memories
And I tried
I attempted to illustrate you then paint you but my mind came up with distant memories
That made it hard for me to visualize you
This pain of you being gone, stops my words from forming wings and get through to you
My words resist to paint you cuz now your gone and breathless
you were my air u left me feeling like im lifeless
you passed on ......and left me airless
and this deep hurt makes me my tears
to the point that i cry till im that im breathless
and i have to create this piece so i can accept that your gone and regain my concious
I And I hate this feeling because you’re only aloud to exist in my vague memories
If I reminisced it became heartrending,
My hands can paint new memories, cuz I can’t even illustrate without thinking of you being gone from me
And I hate these tears because I can’t illustrate you right next to me
I can’t dream of you because I’m dreaming of you un-silently
And I’m trying to reach out to you but you’re beyond capacity

by Deneen (Me)