Nothing about August

I dream a lot about nature. Secluded houses surrounded by green plants tall trees sweet wet mud. I dream about conceiving. When in real life my doctor says I’ve been on the wrong medication. At my childbearing age these circle hopes of happiness can lead to birth defects. It would be nice to update a love and not Twitter to say there are things going on with my uterus my cervix maybe infections. But no one’s telling me. I’ve got to ask questions

About my walls
About the shaking
Of my hands the attacks on my heart
I dream a lot about secluded homes with rooms
For my books
Did you know?
My dreams kill
My sister my brother
They wound me
With a gun
Three bullets
my dreams killed
Me.
They also killed a girl
With a last name I know in real life
When in real life
A man with the same last name died two days ago
With a gun
Three bullets
Did you know?
I’ve got the dreams that kill.

words by Shauna Barbosa