I Need You to Know

I need
under certain conditions
things that I myself require 
nothing material
But, something that I feel is necessary or
I am currently lacking something that I envision not for just myself,
but possibly something readily available to share with another
something that keeps me obscurely wanting,  but feels so out of reach it's taunting
I need for my soul to feel every beat of your favorite song
and never come to and end
and I need an over abundance of sunshine to brighten all the eyes of those who acknowledge the blue skies
I need for you to know that I do fall apart
and I need someone strong enough to carry what I can't stand to rise
and I need you to comfort my cries, 
because for forever it will be evident that your heart dies if you can't visualize my smile
I need to see your eyes near candle light, because the sight of you is sacred
I need for you to know that
I was created for the one who has nowhere else to go,
just know your presence is always welcomed
I need you to know I write poems to Bon Iver in the dark with only one thought, 
of You, 
that who ever it is that I will love, 
I wrote you these poems before even meeting you
I need a warm soul
and I need the laughter of a small child to remind me that in the future being a mother is what I want to be my greatest job.
I need patience,  
because the anticipation before the beginning of anything is always the realist
I need you to comprehend the nature of me,
perceive who I am in all aspects
I don't want to always ask why
I need you to know I never missed someone (who is still living) so much in my life 
and I need you to know that Boy II Men made me never want to pass anything by
I need you to know that these words 
I write are always my truth and this is what I do to mentally sooth.
I need you to know I have a secret or two
I need you to know I cry after reading some of my own writing 
I need you to know I am incapable of giving up  a fight 
I need you to know that I still pray for you every night
I need you to know that I still feel the same
and from experience it takes a long while for people to change
and no one has ever taking me by surprise and when that person does 
I know I'm going to give you a chance, because the same always brings lies
I need you to know  I love more than the meaning of the word
I rather not fall but stumble upon
I need you to know that I feel much softer and at ease when I hear your name
I need you to know that the memories we made, still play in my head like it all happened yesterday
I need you to know that I hope I wasn't the reason another man has walked away
I need you to know my tears aren't liquid weakness,
but feelings secreting from a place that I don't usually open
I need you to know I'm close
I need you to know
I'm not ordinary
I need you to know 
I hug rarely
I need you to know you just can't give up on me
because everybody else did 
I need you to know I am never going to give up on you
so stay here with me 

it has been an entire year that we have been apart from each other
and to me that is a good thing
we both had some growing to do and it had to be done with us not being together
we learned to hurt each other the entire time together
and it was just getting worse
we learned to lie to one another and couldn't tell the truth even if it did not hurt
we could not be apart from each other
when being apart from each other for us worked
we could not learn to miss each other
and we could not be away
but one of use had to let the other go for our own sake
the all that time we spent together I want to believe it was real
but for now without you
my head is clear
without the hurt and the pain I see clearly now
that you were everything that I feared but I had to go through it with you and face those fears