"On Things of Which I am Ashamed" Zora Howard

He's gone forever

I lost you quicker
A lot faster than I thought you were going to go
Thoughts are not even allowed to linger
and body no longer will experience a tingle
every time you come near, because now you’re gone like the sun going away after the day ends
but the only difference is, you are not coming back again
Gone forever maybe to find out who we really are
without each other
gone forever
and no longer can I ask were are we and where have we gone
because we lost each other during that week
and there is no use in looking for each other because we disappeared and neither of us were meant to be seeked
but the smell of you still lives here and it sensitive to nose
you are gone forever but when your scent travels past my nose
I get this tendency to turn around in hope that you might possibly appear once more
like a car traveling down a one way road,  there’s no way of squeezing another car in for two
he is gone forever
and I did not make you love me, you just did
now he is gone forever, but where does love go when what we had ends
does love keep running until it is all out, or does it just get buried inside of us
until our futures allow us to meet back up
I don’t know if I no longer anticipate seeing your name call my phone
or making sure you are the last face I see before my eyes rest for awhile
he is gone forever
so I anticipate a new beginning and the blurry vision of a man who will one day be the first face I see when I wake up in the morning
already looking back at me
because he did not want to miss awakening of his future

he is gone forever
and maybe that’s why I do not try to think about that as much
and I do not know if it is possible to feel that way again for another. but I am hoping I can
he is gone forever
and I never wanted happily ever after
because that would mean that one day we would eventually end
and that is what exactly happened to us
you are gone from me for ever
and I wished before that I could be all… for you
but he is gone forever and I am nothing at all to you
we are gone forever
and it might not be possible to start new

For the Love Enthusiasts

“Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.”

-Sigmund Freud