Foolish Heart

I'm covered 
No one gets to get in
Protected
armor, guards, and big pit pull dogs defend this heart
Collect everything 
all feelings gathered and compressed in jar
no liberation, last time they got out 
he did not feel the same way
quiet, no sharing and definitely no explaining
he knew my story and to wound me,
used every bit of it against me
to destroy all the development I have made within me
folding in on myself 
stressful feeling in my chest, find myself worried about me
needing time to ask myself when did all this become me
unready, 
no preparation for the unfolding,  lost my cape
because if my love was real how can I trust another to reciprocate
lost, everything and everybody I thought I knew and know
disoriented, confused, baffled expressions
unaware of everything, family, friends
when I thought, with him I was feeling heaven
doubt, no chance of me and another
every one of him, is the same
uncertainty, every thought or emotions of
connected with another is unsettling